Blog VI

            As a grandmother myself, I was impressed by the reading, Weighing the Grandma Factor.  It discussed the importance the role a grandmother has in the lives of her grandchildren.  Most surprising was the result, "…that if the father was alive or dead didn't matter."  This demonstrated to me that the caregivers of the family were the mothers, and children fared better when they were there to nurture their young.  The reading noted that paternal grandmothers were not as influential as maternal grandmothers.  Their explanation that daughters will seek the advice of their own mothers over their mother in laws made perfect sense.  Unless a woman was extremely close to her mother in law, or the mother was considered undesirable, I would naturally think that this were the case.  Also noted was the fact that if the grandmother dies, you notice it, but if the father dies, you don't.  This study may show the children of Gambia require the assistance of an older woman for the betterment of their growth.  Not knowing the culture of this population, it would leave me to believe that the fathers are away a great deal, leaving the wife at home alone and in need of another adult to assist with the children.  I would think that if the father were there more, then he would make an impact on the wellbeing of the children.

            The second reading, Aged Mothers Aging Daughters, made me think how fortunate I am to have parents that are stubbornly independent.  My own mother is fighting a health battle at seventy-one, yet still works full time, lives alone and is getting treatment without "bothering" her children.  The reading noted "mothers do not want this burden for their own children" which reminded me how my own grandmother acted.  Within my own family I see where this statement is true.  For my own mother, I've asked repeatedly if she wanted to move in with me, sell her house and live a less stressful life.  She immediately responded with, certainly not!  She enjoys her freedom, likes her home and furnishings, and wouldn't want to live under another person's rules.  I respect that, but still worry she is overstressing herself when she wouldn't have to.  For her, there is no question she is where she wants to be and is happy with her situation.  Still, at some point I expect to be the daughter in the middle.
            One point brought up in Feminist Gerontology and Old Men made me think about the viewpoint given and how it perceived women.  "…even though we realize that research on women does not mean feminist, scholars often equate research on women with feminist approaches."  It made me realize that once again a woman is stereotyped feminist if she stood up for her rights.  Why?  When a man could stand up for himself and never is labeled.  "We do not generally refer to men living shorter lives, being lower users of prescription drugs, having lower rates of institutional care, and so on."  That statement made me wonder, what if we did.  Obviously, men would be viewed in a different light, and not necessarily a positive one.  So why do we always find the one viewpoint that will make a woman appear less appreciated?  I find this in so many situations, it makes my head spin.  Even within these readings, as this sentence suggested, the viewpoint is always from a perspective that puts men in a positive light and women in a lesser light.
            That makes me jump ahead to Sexualities, Gender and Ageing.  Throughout the reading, he kept referring to Lesbian and Gay.  This drives me crazy!! That L word is offensive, except to men, not to mention it is redundant.  To be accurate, it should read Lesbian and Queer, but that might offend a man.  Gay refers to both genders, yet as women we allow this insult so that this group can call themselves Glad. 
            Importance of sex in later life was not surprising results.  Starting at 50 was however!  Perhaps because that is my age, I never imagined why sex wouldn't be important.  My Aunts and Uncle are in their eighties and still having sex, so it never occurred to me that this would be a question in anyone's mind.  I would love to see more advances that improve the quality of a person's sex life once they start having health issues that affect their abilities.  It is the best way to make people feel love, wanted, secure as well as stress free.